"anyway one time i found myself with an oldladyfriend of mine, we started getting a little intimate, and she ended up snorting cocaine off my erect penis. it was, cool, it was fun, i was supporting her.. with a somewhat straight object for her to do drugs off. but - you still better believe i was like ‘girl, don’t you get that fucking poison in my urethra’. and she didn’t. that’s what i call unity right there."
Listen, We’ll have to fucking change that, er, that order. ‘bout things of things to fucking do before I die, cause I’m stuck here like a cunt on the front of the boat. The twat wont fucking turn round, he’s worried about his fucking fish. I’m not doing the dolphin thing. We’ll have to do something else because this is fucking ridiculous. I’m stuck on the front of the thing here, it’s going dark, I’ve been on it for christ knows how fucking long, it’s doing me fucking head in. The cunt who’s driving it wont turn it round, Richard’s gone inside, he’s not… fucking anywhere to be seen. I’m sat here on the front with a coat over me eating Fisherman’s Friends. And I’m fucking still… uagh. Seriously we’ve gotta change the dolphin one. We’ll have to redo some other shit we talked about on that list. See ya later.